RMW: the blog

Roslyn's photography, art, cats, exploring, writing, life

Olive May Wilkins 1916 – 2015

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olive wilkins

My mother September 2013

Olive May Wilkins 1916 – 2015

My mother passed away Sunday evening, February 8 at Grandview Vintage Senior Living (formerly known as Grandview Palms until January) where she lived for the past 4 1/2 years.

As a deeply religious Christian, she was looking forward to being welcomed in heaven by Jesus and her family who had preceded her in death, especially her mother and her brothers who she mentioned frequently in her last months.

She is buried at Inglewood Cemetery in the Pineview section next to her husband and my father, Ronald Wilkins.

She was admitted to the hospital about six weeks ago and when she was discharged I requested that she be transferred to her own apartment at Grandview under hospice care. Fortunately, we had previously discussed this situation and I knew she didn’t want to die in a hospital setting.

The staff at Grandview bent over backwards to take care of her, going above and beyond their normal duties for Olive. Also, the staff at Wilshire Hospice who were assigned to her were more than wonderful, caring for her and supporting me.

I was happy that she was able to die in these circumstances.

olive wilkins

New Years Eve party at Grandview 2012

Although she was a challenging and difficult person all my life, I know it’s important for me now to let bygones be bygones. Gradually I am remembering some of the good times we shared. I am working on eventually only recalling the pleasant moments and letting everything else go because what is the point?

Before my father died seventeen years ago, he passed the responsibility of her care on to me. He basically treated her as his child my entire life. With her death I am at peace with myself that despite everything, I always did the best I could for her. Every decision I made was for her benefit, even though she often could not see it.

I believe that moving to the US from England was extremely hard on her, as it was on me as a teenager, living an insecure and nomadic life until we finally settled in Los Angeles. My father had a restless spirit and previously we had moved from England to Argentina, where my mother was born, and back again to England. All this uncertainty, coupled with her own troublesome childhood, affected her in ways I never understood and I have to forgive her as she vented her frustration and trauma on me, her only child.

I am not sure what lies beyond this life but I do hope that if there is anything, she can finally find the happiness and peace of mind she never seemed to grasp in this lifetime.

When we lived in Argentina, I called my mother “mamacita” which was an affectionate term like mommy. Today I understand it has other meanings but I never used it like that.

So, I say affectionately, rest in peace, mi mamacita querida.

All photos and content copyright roslyn m wilkins. Please feel free to pass along this post via email or social media, but if you wish to use some of our images or text outside of the context of this blog, either give full credit to myself and link to One Good Life in Los Angeles, or contact us for proper usage. Thanks!

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Author: RMW

I am an explorer and creative person. I've had many jobs, careers and interests... everything in life and the universe fascinates me. Born in Brighton, England, I've lived my entire adult life in Los Angeles, California. A few years ago I rediscovered photography which is a great excuse to get outside and look. I'm also in the process of re-writing some of my unpublished short stories and possibly a novel. .

36 thoughts on “Olive May Wilkins 1916 – 2015

  1. Dearest Rosyln, my heart goes out to you. I, too, recently lost my mother, who was difficult, and decades earlier, my father. These are difficult times for you, and I wish for you: peace~~

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  2. My sympathy Roslyn! Very well written.

    Barbara Hahn

    Sent from my Verizon Wireless Device

    One Good Life

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  3. This is a very, very sweet and heart warming post. I wish you a good, safe journey in the days and months ahead. It sounds like you were an awfully good daughter to her. Be well, and thanks for sharing a bit of her in your posting.

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  4. My heartfelt condolences to you, Roslyn. You’ve written a lovely tribute to your ‘mamacita’. You can rest easy, knowing that you did the best you could for her. The home where she was living, looks so similar to the one where my mom is. The staff there are also kind and caring. 🙂 *hugs* Sylvia

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  5. I’ve always wondered how people find others willing to indulge them.

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  6. Rest in Peace Olive May Wilkins! Roslyn I wish you peace in your heart and your mind. Your mother could not have had a better daughter than you and she might not have shown it but, she knew it!

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    • Thanks Cate. I certainly wasn’t perfect dealing with her but I feel good that given the circumstances I did the best I could and I have no regrets!

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  7. My condolences. May she rest in peace.

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  8. My heart goes out you Rosyln, and thanks for these beautiful images of a happy, well-taken-care-of woman, who was probably so grateful in her heart to you. I’m also going through similar stages with my parents, and this post has reminded me of this. Thanks so much for sharing this tender story, and your honesty about your relationship with her. In the end, love and compassion transcends all.

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  9. I’m sorry for your loss, Roslyn. This is a beautiful tribute to your mother. Thanks to you, she lived the last years of her life in a peaceful and happy setting. What a great daughter you are! My prayers are with you.

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  10. My dearest sympathy wishes to you my friend.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Deeply touched Roslyn Dear by your post ; you have my sympathy.
    You stirred up bittersweet memories my friend.I lost my mum on the 25 Feb 2006 and since then I feel life is not the same … She has taken part of my soul with her.Great tribute to your mother,it’s nice to share deeper feelings with friends;it sure makes you feel better.Live peacefully to remember her and keep only the nice moments,otherwhise you feel bitter inside,you harm your own life.
    My thoughts with you ~Take care my friend ~

    Liked by 1 person

  12. I’m sorry for your loss, Ros. Your mom was a beautiful woman. I’m glad you made sure she was so well cared for, and she is where she wants to be now, with her faith finding her in heaven with her loved ones. Hang in there, my friend.

    (Also, apology for not spotting this post until three weeks after your mom’s passing.)

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    • Thanks, Mark…. oh my goodness, I don’t expect everybody to catch all my posts!

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      • Yes, but I try particularly hard to keep up with a special list, and you’re on it, Ros.

        Really, your mom was lovely in these photos. And your love is quite evident. Good daughter. Very wonderful. So sorry for your loss. But, wow, you had her for such a great and long time!

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      • It was a complicated relationship…. like many mother/daughter relationships I suppose… now there is a new chapter in my life… the last few months and years have taught me how important it is to make the most of every day! I think blogging really helps with that. Cheers!

        Liked by 1 person

  13. I read this the other day and I really loved this blog. I couldn’t comment at the time because it really touched me and explained some things I was feeling about dealing with a death in my own family. It was honest and beautiful.

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  14. Thanks for sharing my friend

    Liked by 1 person

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